"Holy Toledo!"

June 25, 2009

The Last F-word

Filed under: NFL — Bill @ 8:19 am

OH MY GOD!!!!!!  If I hear the F-word one more time I’m going to throw up on a cheese head.  You can’t escape it, it’s everywhere.  Go to the store, listen to the radio, the F-word.  Walk down the street, turn on the TV, the F-word.  Before I wake up screaming from a bad dream about the F-word I have decided to take drastic measures…

I, from this day forth do solemnly swear to never ever say the dreaded F-word until the Raiders win the Super Bowl, or I die, whichever happens first.  And even then I won’t say the F-word no matter how prompted I am from the influence of the outside world, stupid people, or some particularly good beer.

So hear me now, listen carefully because this is it, my last and final time to ever utter (or type) that ugly & disgusting F-word that just won’t go away (it ruins every episode of Sportscenter or NFL Total Access these days).

OK here goes………


(long pause for added effect)

Never have I so disliked a guy that I used to respect.

Retire, come back and play, take up knitting, run for office, flee to f***ing Mexico and become a bandito I don’t care.  Just stop clogging up my airwaves because I’m sick of hearing about you!

Ahh I’m starting to feel better already.


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